Einige Witze für euch!

The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help .

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Wie isses mit nem Dreier?

Be careful out there.

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.She looked OK for a 57-year-old.

In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinkingthat she probably had a hot daughter.

We drank a bit, and a had a bit of a snuggle, and she asked ifI'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

"What's that?" I asked

"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.

I said, "No" - excitedly.

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was "my lucky night".I Went back to her place.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"

Warum kriegen Männer keine Krampfadern ?

Weil es Scheiße aussieht.

Frau Müller hat allen Grund auf ihre Freundin sauer zu sein: ´Du dumme Pute´ japst sie, ´wie kommst Du dazu zu behaupten, mein Mann hätte eine Warze am Penis?´
´Hab ich nie behauptet´ verteidigt sich die Freundin ´ich hab nur gesagt ES FÜHLT SICH SO AN.´

Guten Rutsch

A banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.

Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride.

Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said,

"She'll be twenty-one in November."

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.

Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.

Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.

"How's the new wife?", asked the banker.

Tom proudly said, "Good - she's pregnant."

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And how's the hired hand?"

Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too."

Don't ever underestimate old Geezers.

Teacher asks the children about animal sounds.

Davy, what sound does a cow make?
It goes moo.
Alice, what sound does a cat make?
It goes meow.
Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?
It goes baaa.
Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?
It goes click!

Und was genau ist daran nun so ein Wortwitz, den man partout nicht übersetzen kann?

Englisch schön und gut, aber das ist hier ein deutsches Forum mit einem deutschen Witze-Thread. Übertreibt es nicht. :mad: :flop:

SCNR!

*mit leicht österreicherischer gepresster Stimme* "Wir sind ein deutsches Forum und erzählen nur deutsche Witze über die xxxxx!" :p
"Und wann ändert der Administrator hier ändlich die Fadenöberschrift in 'Viele deutsche Witze für euch!'?"

Ja, wenn ich hier im Thread mal was zu lachen bekomme verziehe ich mich schnell in eine Zimmerecke und mache mir ein paar Sorgen!

Oh, hatte ich aus Versehen Autobahn und Eva erwähnt?

Du weißt genau, was gemeint war. Also zieh das doch bitte nicht ins Lächerliche und profiliere dich anderswo.

Oder du lässt uns den Spaß mit Englischen Witzen und trollst anderswo....