Einige Witze für euch!

In der Kürze liegt die Würze:

Treffen sich ein Hai und ein Kuckuck, sagt der Kuckuck: Hi! Darauf entgegnet der Hai: Kuckuck!

Cheers, Laubi

Zitat

Original geschrieben von Herb
A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma comefirst. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country....we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who'sa talkin' abouta sex?
I'm just a tellin' my frienda howa to spell Mississippi."

Alles anzeigen

LOL ...ich musste den zwar zweimal lesen, bis ich alle buchstaben herausgelesen hatte... aber der is gut.

Logical Scientist
Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit ......

Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet.

On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder ......

Dave: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession

Dave: - Oh! What's that then?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example . Do you have a goldfish at home?

Dave: - Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Dave: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ... built it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

Dave: - Yep! Five times a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?

Dave: - Do what? Not me mate!

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Dave: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive ... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.

Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Stuart: - What's that then?

Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Stuart: - Nope

Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker.

Pimp my (father's) Festplatte... :cool:

Wenn ich so ein dummes Kind hätte, würde ich entweder
ihn ins Heim stecken
dessen Mutter schlagen - von mir kann ers nicht haben!
oder einfach auswandern - so ein Kind ist nicht mal 1 Cent Alimente wert...

Zitat

Das Programm hat mir mein Freund gegeben, hab leider kein Wort von dem Verstanden, was das von mir wollte. Hab immer nur "Yes" geklickt. Das Programm heißt "Kill Disk".

Naja,

dass das ein Fake ist dürfte klar sein. Wenn auch ein lustiger.

Wenn das mal kein Fake ist, dann sag ich nur -> RESPEKT !

schon klar

Zitat

Original geschrieben von alpha
Pimp my (father's) Festplatte... :cool:

mir wird schlecht~