Bitte um Korrekturtipps bei einem Englischtext

    Hi,


    kann vielleicht mal ein "Fachkundiger" folgende zwei Texte überfliegen und Tipps geben?


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    Write a comment


    In the following I want to discuss about the sense of abolishing all signs and road markings and other possibly ways to increase road safety. Removing all signs and road markings is the psychological way, which should give drivers more care. A survey from RTL says that only approximately half of all drivers know the meanings of the most important road signs. That means that half of all drivers drive only by their felling – I think it’s a very unsafely way to control a vehicle. The survey confirms my last conclusion too, than the “feeling drivers” cause more accidents than drivers, who regard on signs. Abolishing all signs could increase the amount of accidents. Another chance to increase road safety could be our current system with a better traffic control. We would need more policemen to control the traffic and check speed merchants. In addition the punishments for ignoring traffic rules should be rising. A big disadvantage of this way is the giant coast for it. The next point would be perhaps the best solution. Useless signs could be abolished and all drivers should make every ten years a new licence. A good punishment for ignoramuses could be the loss of their licence for ten years.
    All in all I think all ways have their advantages, but anything should be done to decrease road accidents.


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    Will fuel cells cars replace cars with internal combustion engines in the future?
    (introductory sentence, main part, concluding statement)


    I would like to discuss about fuel cells and their enforcement in private cars against combustion engines. I think a change to fuel cells would be the right way to reduce the greenhouse gas and protect the people’s health. Then they could go through the city without breathing stinky air. We would not depend on oil or petroleum. The production of hydrogen could be cleaner, by means of big solar panels in deserts or in areas with a long sunshine. In addition the actual price for hydrogen could be decreased. That it would be more interesting for shippers and other transport companies. A big part of the taxes for the new gas could be cut in price. Also goods would get cheaper, because transport would not be so expensive.Then in future people could produce their own hydrogen and could use it for their cars or perhaps for their houses too.
    ---



    Danke und Gruß
    Christopher :)

    Apple iPhone 6 [White, 64GB]

    Teil 1:


    Zitat

    In the following I would like to to discuss about the sense of abolishing all signs and road markings and other possibly ways to increase road safety. Removing all signs and road markings is the psychological way, which should give drivers more care. A survey from produced by RTL says shows that only approximately half of all drivers know the meanings of the most important road signs. That means that the other half of all drivers drive only drive by their felling – I think it’s a very unsafely way to control a vehicle. The survey confirms my last conclusion too. I think than the “feeling drivers” cause more accidents than drivers who regard on signs. Abolishing all signs could increase the amount of accidents. Another chance to increase road safety could be our current system with a better traffic control. We would need more policemen to control the traffic and check speed merchants. In addition the punishments for ignoring traffic rules should be rising rised. A big disadvantage of this way is the giant coast for it. The next point would be perhaps the best solution. Useless signs could be abolished and all drivers should make every ten years a new licence. A good punishment for ignoramuses could be the loss of their licence for ten years.
    All in all I think that all ways have their advantages, but anything something should be done to decrease road accidents.



    Teil 2:



    Zitat

    Will fuel cells cars replace cars with internal combustion engines in the future?
    (introductory sentence, main part, concluding statement)


    I would like to discuss about fuel cell-technology and their enforcement in private cars against combustion engines. I think a change changing to fuel cells would be the right way to reduce the amout of greenhouse gas and to protect the people’s health. Then They could go through the city without breathing stinky air. We would not depend on oil or petroleum as much as now. The production of hydrogen could be cleaner, by means of when big solar panels in deserts or in areas with a long sunshine-periods would be used. In addition the actual price for hydrogen could be decreased. That it would be more interesting for shippers and other transport companies. A big part of the taxes for the new gas could be cut in used to reduce the price. Also goods would get become cheaper because transport would not be so expensive any more. Then In the future people could produce their own hydrogen and could use it for their cars or perhaps for their houses, too.


    Bemerkungen:


    Ich habe das jetzt so korrigiert, wie ich es für richtig halte. Das heißt nicht, dass ich sämtliche Regeln über Bord geworfen habe, sondern dass ich den Text auf meine Interpretation angepasst habe. Ich hoffe, ich habe dadurch deine Aussage nicht abgeändert. Ferner garantiere ich nicht, dass die obigen Texte nun zu 100% richtig sind - ich habe mir aber Mühe gegeben und hatte auch Englisch-LK im Abitur ;)


    MfG
    Benny

    Hier mal der erste Text, leider keine Zeit für den zweiten:


    I would like to discuss in the following text whether it makes sense to abolish all signs and road markings and would also like to discuss other possible ways of increasing road safety. Removing all signs and road markings would be a psychological approach in order to motivate drivers to pay more attention. A survey from RTL indicated that only approximately half of the number of drivers know the meaning of the most important road signs. This means that half of all drivers drive only by their intuition, which I think is a rather unsafe way of controling a vehicle. The survey also confirms my assumption that “intuitive driving” causes more accidents than driving according to the road signs. Abolishing all signs would therefore increase the amount of accidents. Another possibility to increase road safety could be to upgrade our current system with a better traffic control. We would need more policemen to control the traffic and check the observance of speed limits. In addition the penalty for ignoring traffic rules should be increased . However, doing so would be rather cost intensive. The following is therefore in my view the best solution. Useless signs could be abolished and all drivers should be obliged to take a new driver's license test every ten years. A good penalty for drivers ignoring this rule could be the loss of their licence for ten years.
    All in all I think all proposals have their advantages and anything should be done to decrease the amount of road accidents.

    Re: Bitte um Korrekturtipps bei einem Englischtext


    Zitat

    Original geschrieben von Hotdogge
    Hi,


    kann vielleicht mal ein "Fachkundiger" folgende zwei Texte überfliegen und Tipps geben?


    Danke und Gruß
    Christopher :)


    Dann nehm ich die 2 ...
    Ich hab da immer gelernt bekommen - am Anfang die MEinung kund zu tun, also unterscheiden sich unsere texte etwas ...


    Will fuel cells cars replace cars with internal combustion engines in the future?
    (introductory sentence, main part, concluding statement)


    In my point of view fuel cells will replace combustion engines in the future.
    A change to fuel cells would be the right way to reduce the greenhouse effect and furthermore protect the people’s health.



    >Then they could go through the city without breathing stinky air.
    [Clumsy!]
    [Alternativ]


    This would mean that air pollution e.g. in huge cities or industrial areas would be reduced and we would not depend on fossile fuel anymore.


    >The production of hydrogen could be cleaner, by means of big solar panels in >deserts or in areas with a long sunshine.
    >In addition the actual price for hydrogen could be decreased.
    >So hydrogen might become more interessting e.g. for shipping- or airlines.


    >A big part of the taxes for the new gas could be cut in price.
    So fuel taxes could be reduced ... meinst Du das? Steuersenkungen?



    >Also goods would get cheaper, because transport would not be so expensive.
    [umdrehen]
    As the costs of transport are lowered, all goods would get cheaper.



    >Then in future people could produce their own hydrogen and could use it for their >cars or perhaps for their houses too.


    In the future it might be possble that people even produce hydrogen for their own needs e.g. personal transport, housing etc.



    Ja,


    so seh ich das ... ohne Gewähr! Allerdings würde ich eine Art Zusammen fassung am Ende mit einem klaren ja/nein/vielleicht und evtl. einen Verweis auf die Forschung noch in betracht ziehen wollen. Das ist aber Ansichtsache und fällt bei gegebener Länge weg...


    Was mir gerade auffällt ... welche Schulform/Jahrgangsstufe ....


    Hier noch ein guter Link .... falls mal ein Fachbegriff fehlt:
    Wörterbuch der TU Chemnitz


    Grüße


    M.

    Hallo,


    Schule ist FOS (12. Jahr, allerdings ohne 11. Jahr und mit einer Ausbildung zwischen durch)




    Hätte mal wieder einen Text, wo ich um eine Korrektur bitte:



    In the following text I want talk about advantages and disadvantages of wind power. Many people don’t think positive about wind power because wind power systems destroy the countryside – I think that this conclusion isn’t whole wrong but onshore systems are very unsightly. Onshore systems should be an “emergency solution” for areas without an external power supply, also areas far away from all. But offshore systems are ever senseful, I think nobody can’t get failed by the sight of windmills on sea moreover the efficiency of offshore systems is higher as by onshore systems. Adversaries tell people that wind power is up to three times more expensive than conventional electricity. Early wind power systems aren’t as good as actual inventions than big windmills disburse the costs for their purchasing after eight months. Studies of TTC say that a windmill runs up to two years without any support service from outside according to this windmills have an efficiency from about two when technicians wouldn’t repair it.
    Very important is the planning for finding an effective, reasonable operation place.


    My opinion is that many adversaries don’t consider that we save much CO2 emissions when people don’t do anything we can’t solve our biggest problem the global warming.



    Gruß
    Christopher :)

    Apple iPhone 6 [White, 64GB]

    Hi


    erstens bringt es nichts wenn wir deine texte korregieren wenn du nicht daraus lernst, es kann nicht sein dass in dem neuen text die gleichen fehler vorkommen die ein paar posts drueber korregiert wurden, in der SA hast du kein inetzugang u know ;)


    Tipps:


    - man merkt dass du auf deutsch denkst und es dann woertlich ins englische uebersetzt, man muss es teilweise rueckuebersetzen um zu wissen was du meinst, versuch lieber gleich auf englisch zu denken dann klappt das auch mit den kollokationen ;)


    - schau dir noch mal adjective vs adverb im englischen an


    - was ist dein lieblingsthema? was es auch immer ist, lies, nein verschlinge so viel englische texte dazu wie du nur kannst damit du ein gefuehl fuer die sprache entwickelst und nicht nur woerter aneinanderreihst


    Gruesse aus England,


    Vampyre

    I scrutinize therefore I am

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